Saturday, December 31, 2011

Part 2

I was feeling a little "off" during the evening but just put it down to moving, pregnancy hormones etc, I had just finished eating dinner and decided to have a shower and go to bed and rest.  As I undressed I noticed I was bleeding and of course i started to panic.  I screamed for Shane and he wondered into the bathroom to find me on the floor crying my eyes out, "Somethings wrong" I cried, "I think I'm loosing the baby", Shane phoned my mum who came straight over.

By this time i managed to get myself together and went to the toilet, it was there that i actually miscarried the baby
This was the second time I had miscarried. The first was before Mr K.

I blamed myself for this happening. Had I lifted something too heavy in our move?  Was it all the stress I was under leading up to the move?,  there were all these horrible thoughts going around in my head but in my heart I knew I couldn't change anything and I had to move on and be a mum to my little boy.

A few months later I discovered we were pregnant again, but this time I was weary about telling everyone.  I didnt want to get too excited so we decided to keep it a secret for awhile (which is very hard for me to do), and we only told our immediate families. 

My Dr wanted me to have a Ultrasound to confirm how many weeks pregnant i was.  According to my cycle I thought i was 8 weeks by now, but my hormone levels in the blood tests didnt match up. Already alarm bells were ringing. So off Shane and I went to have the Ultrasound which was on a Saturday morning.

Friday, December 30, 2011

Well this is it, I have thought about blogging for a little while and even started writting a draft, but was never sure where to start, "Just start at the beginning" one friend suggest "but what beginning" i asked, "The beginning" was my answer
This blog will be about my experience dealing with the premature birth of my 2 daughters. I have 3 children, Mr K now 13, Miss S now 10 and Miss M now 8. I have just joined the Naughty forties and am only beginning to accept my life as it is and have realised that this is my purpose and i need to accept it as it is  - Warts and all.

I have been married now for 6 yrs and my husband came along when my son was only 15months old. He accepted Mr K as his own and has been involved in Mr K's life he is even his soccer coach and has been for a few years.

After dating each other for 6months we decided to rent a house together and then after about a year we bought a house together, life was looking good. During the settlement period i realised i was pregnant, this was not planned and a complete surprise as we "were being careful" but low and behold, the universe has othe ideas and this was one of them.

I was so excited i told everyone, we were moving into our house and about to start another chapter of our lives, with a child together.  I was alittle stressed at the thought of moving, finances etc what with a new baby and everything but managed to push all that to one side and move into our house.
I remember moving in during the week, it was so exciting finally owning my own home, such a milestone for us all. Then something unexpected happened that would change everything.