Ready or not, here I come

During the next few days I had so many blood tests and scans to decide if the baby should be delivered sooner rather then later.  The Dr's decided to wait and see what my body was going to do.  It was now Friday night and I again suffered from a bad headache and chest pains, apparently my blood pressure was thru the roof, and the Dr was called to look at me, It was about 2 in the morning and he was very concerned about seizures and it was decided I would have an emergency Cesarean in the morning, ifmy blood pressure didnt go down alot with some medication, and of course it didnt.

I remember the midwife phoning Mum and Shane and advising them to come in ASAP.  I can also remember another nurse coming to see me and explain about the NICU - Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, where my baby would go. - I cant remember much of what was said but i do remember the nurse saying that if the hospital were more prepared for me and my baby i would have been able to go on a tour of the nursery then I was asked about what breathing equipment I would like to be given to my baby - ventilator or CPAP machine, this didn't make any sense to me, wouldn't they (the Dr's) do what is needed for my baby, if it survived, I mean geez 25wks is just over half way, what chances does the baby have.  There was so much going on in my room I was so overwhelmed and just wanted to go home and wake up from my nightmare.  I don't think I really knew what was about to happen, Miss S had been in Special Care Nursery so i knew what it was all about, right, no wrong this was nothing compared to her.

It was about 11am now and I was wheeled into the theatre for the cesarean.  At 12.08pm my little girl was born, Miss M.  She weighed 505gm and was 30cm long.  She was tiny, one of the smallest babies to be born at KEMH.  Her skin was transparent and her arms and legs were no thicker then my fingers.  I did not get to see her for 2 days as I was rushed to the Adult Special Care Unit for monitoring.  All I was given was a photo to look at.  I wasn't allowed visitors apart from my immediate family, mum dad etc even my other kids were not allowed in.  I was all alone wondering what the hell was going on.